CHAPTER 2: White Lies, Priorities, and Acceptance
“Dude, hurry up!” Kai’s voice was booming as we trudged along the campus towards our class.
“I’m hurrying! I’m hurrying!” I was catching my breath. I woke up late this morning, having literally 10 minutes to prepare for class, print out stuff, eat breakfast, and run to school. Its not that I didn’t set my alarm, I was just having a really really nice dream about --- nope, I won’t even go there. Good thing I lived in the dorms just a street across the campus.
“Of all the days to be late, you have to pick today! C’mon man, our prof’s gonna grill our ass. You know how she hates it when her students are late.” Kai, who was consequentially late because of me (we always try to go to class at the same time), was already a few feet away from me. Having the body of a freaking fighting machine gave him the perks of high endurance. The guy wasn’t even breaking a sweat!
“Damn you! Could you please slow down?” Have I mentioned I really hate him??
“Hah! See, you really should take up exercise and sports. It really helps.” And he grinned that toothy grin of him. I so wanna punch him right now.
“Yeah yeah. Shut it and let’s go.” I inhaled a large gulp of air and set out for the rest of the way. Our Trig prof is gonna kill us. Well, at least not that much.
---
All my life I have never lied to anyone intentionally or for bad intentions. Don’t get me wrong. I had my fair share of white lies and some really major ones, but nothing that would intentionally cause harm or despair to anyone. At least, none that I know of.
I can still remember the first time I said a lie. My mom asked me whether I enjoyed going to nursery school and whether everything was okay. I simply answered yes. The truth was, I got bullied by some of the kids, got my bag dumped in the trash bin by the same kids, and cried all the way home. I guess I did it so as to not worry my parents. Come to think of it, it was quite impressive I even thought of that reason at such a young age.
Most of the time, I only say white lies. Little things such as playing games instead of doing schoolwork or sleeping when I should have been doing my chores. I never went beyond mundane things.
However, I remembered one time in grade school when I intentionally poured glue all over the school things of a classmate I really despise. I was almost caught but managed to slipped away. The next week we were called one by one by the principal. When it was my turn, I broke down and told the truth. I really regretted that stupid mistake. In the end, that classmate of mine forgave me and my friends learned that even I can commit something that horrible.
I really believed that white lie doesn’t really hurt people. At least not that much. You can never guess how wrong I was.
---
“You suck!” Kai whined to me while the three of us were on our way to his car. Him, being the only and ultimately rich guy in our posse, was given the responsibility of providing transport. Although it may seem unfair for him, we know that he enjoys being able to help us. And that is one thing I most absolutely love about him. (I still generally hate him though)
“Hahaha!!! Ms. Hernan is really the best teacher ever!!” Kar tried hard not to laugh. as we rode the car. “I never knew you guys could shake it like that. Damn, you have moves!” Kar said between giggles.
Kai was driving (duh!! Its his baby!) with me on the front seat and Kar at the back. I was trying hard to appear pissed but that small adorable smile that was engraved on Kai’s face broke me and soon, we were all laughing.
“Well, I never did say I can’t dance.” Kai smirked then looked at me. “Now JJ here... That’s what I called pathetic dancing. It’s a good thing Ms. Hernan enjoyed watching you make a fool out of yourself.”
“Hah! Lame ass. I can dance! It was you Ms. Hernan was laughing at. I mean you’re like foreign meat. It’s a given we have to laugh at you.” I told him teasingly. Actually, it was quite funny how our block makes fun of him. Being the sole foreign student in our class, he was the focus of most ribbing and teasing with me being the forefront teaser. And although it was rather evil, Kai took it astride. He would just have that small smile in his face with a weird gleam in his eyes. Just like what he had right now.
“Shut up.” Kai said.
“Aw. Is the wittle babwy Amewican huwt? Don’t worry, we’ll have you shipped back home in the morning.” Kar teased him. I just laughed.
“Stop it guys.” Kai’s eyes tightened a little.
I abruptly stopped. “Sorry Kai. But you have to admit though. It was funny. Besides, I think Ms. Hernan has a little crush on you.”
“Yeah. Have you noticed that she was really enjoying you guys dancing? And the way her eyes were transfixed on you.” Kar added.
“Guys. That is just too weird. I mean I’m almost like her son.” Kai shivered, thinking about it. “Now that is an image I don’t want to be etched in my mind.”
After a moment of silence, Kar said out of a sudden. “Well, I don’t know about you guys. But she is hot for her age. Total MILF.”
Kai and I just stared at her. Then we laughed again. Hard. It’s a good thing we didn’t crash or anything.
---
For the almost two years that Kai, Kar and I had known each other, we had learned a lot about each other. I was the honorary joker and troublemaker, serious adviser and friend-to-cry-on, and the token poor guy. And from Kar’s girl shopping tendencies and patterns to her lovelife mannerisms and artistic spike, or Kai’s martial arts and gourmet food addiction to his extreme love for cars, cartoons, not to mention GIRLS (he brings the term ‘playboy’ to a whole new level) and easy humor, it was a miracle we could even stand each other. But I guess our diversity in personalities, likes, and strengths is what molds us three together.
But amidst our smooth sailing relationship, something was bound to happen. So far we’ve endured the pressure of social status, the challenges of academics, the prying of outsiders, the dangers of relationships both intimate and what-not, and even the limits of our own will and patience.
I could still remember when Kar met David in our freshmen 3rd term whom she went out on a date with. She was totally smitten on him and for almost two months, she didn’t have that much time for us. Then, one day after class, Kar asked us if she could talk to us. Her expression told us what to expect. We hadn’t had that much communication with her for that length of time (David was an extremely jealous person, enough said) and we were hurt, skeptical and wanting. She led us to our favorite spot on campus, on a windy terrace in one of the main buildings, and broke down. She hugged me and cried her heart out, talking about how David broke up with her saying that he wanted to take a break and date other people. For almost an hour, Kar cried on my shoulder all the while Kai was stroking her back and murmuring comforting words.
After that, we returned to our established routine. It was especially exhausting for us since we just entered our majors term and all of us were taking the same specialization. By then, Kar tried her best to earn our friendship back which she didn’t really have to. Kai and I understood that once a person falls in love, or at least thinks he/she is in love, peculiar and unpleasant things would inevitably happen. She even vowed to hold back in the relationship department for the meantime and promised to seek out our advice before going out with another guy. In all, we love her as a friend and even though we’ve known each other for barely a year, we felt as if it was almost a lifetime. Funny how that happens.
Then there was the time when we were at Kai’s house hanging out. It was around our freshmen 2nd term. Kai was kind enough to invite us to his house which I might say was not a house. It was a freaking mansion. If I were to explain the vast expanse of their house, it would take me around a whole page just to do so. So I won’t (I’ll prolly explain it later along the story). Anyways, since Kai’s house was closest to the university and it was rather large and accomodating, it had been our hangout place most of the time since first term. It might looked as if Kar and I was leeching off of him but Kai said that we were his friends and therefore we were welcome to it. Even though Kar and I don’t admit it that often, we were thankful to have Kai as a friend. So back to the story, while the three of us were lounging around with snacks and drinks littering the center table while playing Wii and PS3, his dad came upon us. He saw the state of the living room and immediately apprehended Kai. It was very humiliating how his dad berated him while Kar and I watched appalled from the corner seats. We heard words like “leeching” and “using you” or “damn kids”. It was too much for Kar so she hurriedly went out with tears flowing from her eyes. I rushed to catch her but stopped near the door. I looked back. Kai was looking at me with despair and sorry in his eyes. His dad was rather smug and contemplating at the same time. I said a “goodbye, see you tomorrow at class” to Kai barely getting it out and turned to his father. I looked him in the eyes and said the words I itched to shout out. “Sorry for not being someone you expected for Kai to befriend with. Kai maybe your son but you have no right to say those things to us or to Kai. Sorry sir but you are a cruel bastard. I’d hate to be friends with someone who had a father like you.” I spat back to his face. I looked at Kai again and gave him an assuring smile. I took one last look at his father’s mortified and reddening face and left. I caught up with Kar outside the gate while hailing for a taxi. I hugged her silently. We went home after that.
I’d like to say that after the “accident”, everything was fine. But it wasn’t. Kai avoided us like the plague. He would sit far away from us at class and keep to himself. Some people noticed the change and were barraging us with questions. Others took advantage of it (that would be a story for another time). The whole “fight” lasted for almost half the term. Kar and I never really hated Kai. How could we? He was the one-third of our group and without him, we were incomplete. So exactly 47 days after that fateful meeting with his father, we cornered him
<flashback>
It was the last period of the day. After we (Kar and I) were done reporting about the different examples of algorithms for Search Trees in our Data Structures and Algorithms course (Kai was suppose to be with us but because of what happened, well...), we waited for Kai on the junction between the two buildings where we always pass through when going home. Since Kai was the last reporter of the day, he lagged behind.
I shot up when we saw Kai walking towards us. He was busy fixing the straps and zippers of his backpack so he didn’t notice us until we were right in front of him. He stopped abruptly and looked up. He locked eyes with me then Kar.
“Uh...” Kai was surprised.
“So...” I said back.
“JJ... I’m...” Kai mumbled.
“Kai... Why d-“ I mumbled back.
“Oh for crying out loud, get it over with and just talk!” Kar, although livid, found it funny by the amusement flickering in her eyes. “Men!!”
“I’m sorry.” Kai blurted out. “I’m so sorry. About everything. I’m sorry about my dad. I’m sorry about not defending you. I’m sorry for making you cry Kar. I’m sorry for the words my father said. I’m sorry for bringing you in that situation in the first place. I’m sorry for not fighting for you guys. I’m sorry that you that I wasn’t a good friend. I’m sorry for-“
“Kai shut up.” I interrupted his mumbling. Then I looked at Kar and together, we hugged him.
The action was too much for Kai and he sobbed. It was the first time we’ve seen him cry. It was rare for him to show his feelings. He once told us that when his mom died, he didn’t cry openly. Instead he did it while he was on his room, at his bed, with his pillow over his face. He told us that he hated showing weakness, that it was wrong for a guy to cry. That was also the reason why he took studying martial arts deep in his psyche. Hetold us it strengthens him, provide a sort of release. So Kar and I was shocked at what happened.
“I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry.” Kai said amidst crying.
“Its okay Kai. We forgive you.” Kar said. “Actually, we don’t need to forgive you. You never have to say sorry. It wasn’t your fault. And even though, we admit it hurt us, we knew you didn’t mean it. It was your father’s fault. So don’t apologize for what he did.”
“But, I was the reason you have to experience that. If I hadn’t pushed you guys to hang out, or if we weren’t friends in the first place then you didn’t have to be hurt.” Kai reasoned.
“No no no. Don’t say that!” I shouted. I was taken aback with my reaction. “It wasn’t your fault. And we don’t care. What we care about is that we missed you and that we want to have you back. I don’t care if your father hates us, that’s his problem and obviously not yours. I don’t care if you have to lie to him about us being friends. I don’t care if he hurt us. We care about you. That’s all there is to it.” I don’t know if I was talking about a we or just I.
“I don’t deserve to be your friend.” Kai defeatedly argued.
“We don’t care.” Kar said again. “Friends are there for each other. We may get hurt or disappointed at times but that doesn’t mean it’s the end. You are our friend. Had been for the past five months. I know its too early to say this but it feels as if we’ve known each other longer. You’re the third piece of our three-piece puzzle and without you, we won’t be complete. We need you back.”
“Please.” I pleaded.
“But my father-“ Kai stopped abruptly. He got off our group hug and walked a few steps away. He was deep in thought for a few minutes then he got back that confident stance of him and looked back at us. “No.”
I faltered. I looked at him with teary eyes. Kar was probably doing the same. But when Kai saw that, he immediately added. “When I said ‘no’, I was saying it to my father. He had no right doing what he did and most certainly no right to hurt you. I won’t let him dictate who I am friends with. So no.” Then he smirked.
“And yes.” He smiled fully. “I miss you guys.” And he hugged us back. We were full circle again.
“However, if you ever mentioned to anyone what happened here, I will personally make your life a living hell? Capische?” He said it with much gusto in his voice that I was momentarily afraid. When I looked at his expression, he was trying hard not to laugh.
“Bastard!” I punched him lightly on his upper arm. “Ouch.” I forgot he was made of steel. Damn muscles.
He smirked. “I mean it.”
Kar just smiled at our antics and enjoyed our closeness.
<end flashback>
The next day, we were back on track. Our trio was a – wait for it… - a trio again. Our blockmates noticed it and they were surprisingly happy with it. Apparently, they liked us when we were all together and crazy so they actually felt bad about our so-called “fight”.
It was a half a year later during our sophomore 1st term that Kai’s father accepted us as his friend. We call him Mr. Triple M now. Apparently, his name was Mikael Mercer Montag and after learning about that, we teased him about it. He found it insulting yet funny at the same time.
And for a while, everything was good.
That is, until my yearly physical examination.
---
We arrived at Kai’s house around quarter to 4. And upon arriving we immediately situated ourselves in our routinized roles. Kai went to the kitchen to fix some snacks and drinks. Kar got into the bathroom to freshen up (girls!). I went to their humongous entertainment system (their TV was bigger than me!) and set up his Wii AND PS3 (we can both play them at the same time!) and all other paraphernalia it had. Hmm, wonder what we’re gonna play today? FF13, BlazBlue, Disydia or perhaps the Zelda game or that Assassin’s whatever. Either way, I’m quite sure this is gonna be a long day.
I was almost done when Kai got back with a tray full of three bowls full of different kind of chips, three clubhouse sandwiches (Kai, for a girl, really eats a lot!), a box full of different chocolate bars, two liters of Cola and reheated leftover pizza. I looked at it and thought about that time we had a fight brought about by his dad. Maybe, he had a reason to think that about us. I smiled. “Nah!”
“Dude, you’re getting better at it.” He put down the tray at the center table while looking at my set-up. “Nice job. It’s rather unnerving to know that you don’t even have any idea what PS or Wii was when I met you yet here you are setting it up like a freaking pro.”
“Huh. I’ve spent most of my time here in your place than I do at my dorm so I’m bound to pick up some talent along the way. Yay me! Master Set-Up King. No one shall ever defeat me.” I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.
“Haha. Very funny. Anyways, I’m just gonna go up and change my clothes. Tell Kar to get her face off the mirror. I’m quite sure the bathroom is pretty tired of her already.” He laughed while removing his shirt on the way.
“I heard that!” Kar came out of the bathroom just as Kai had took of his shirt. They stared at each other for a few seconds, Kar’s eyes darting downwards Kai’s perfect physique. I did too. And then, she blushed. I did too.
“Aaahhh!!! My eyes!!! Nooo!!! My virgin eyes are ruined!” Kar immediately backed up, acted as if closing her eyes after seeing the most hideous (ehem ehem) body on earth. Too late though, because I noticed it. Kai, was safe to say, oblivious and bought it.
“Aw. Don’t you like it?” Kai proceeded with displaying his outrageous muscles, from his flexing biceps, bulging pecs and rippling abs. He made a play with it by kissing his arms, striking a pose and flashing a wink before going up the stairs. Just then, he stopped.
“Wait, you’re still a virgin?” And he laughed all the way up. Kar blushed deeper.
“Brute!” Kar yelled after him. “That narcissistic bastard.” She mumbled while taking her place at the lazyboy chair.
She looked at me and I gave her a knowing smirk. She defiantly stared back and I cowered. Damn woman-specific skills. Whoever said ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ was probably understating it.
“Oh, Jess, didn’t you have that physical exam thing yesterday? What happened? What was that for?” She asked innocently, turning from fuming to saccharine in a second.
I lost my thoughts and immediately paled. “Uhmm... It was f-fine. Just g-got my measurements and stats taken plus all other tests. Same old same old.” God, I stuttered. She’ll know.
“Oh really? Then why the stutters? Hm?” She was skeptic. Her eyebrows rose. “Are you hiding something from us?”
“It’s nothing. Everything went fine.” I answered weakly.
“You’re not telling me something.” She pursed her lips.“I know when you lie JJ. So spill it out.” She was prying. Please no.
“It was nothing.” My voice pitched up. “Honestly, my doctor said that everything was fine. Nothing to worry about.” Please believe me.
Kar scrutinized me for a minute. Her eyes narrowed a bit.
“Fine, If you don’t want to tell me then don’t. But I expect explanations Jess and this talk is far from over.” She huffed. Then smiled.
“Now, let’s see. What do you want to play?” She grabbed the games and started looking. I exhaled silently.
I was scared. Both for myself and everyone else.
---
As a kid, I was deathly frail and weak. I never enjoyed playing outdoors and hated doing physical work. It was ironic. I had a fairly bulky body yet I was sickly, feeble and breakable. My whole medical history composed of eight cases of medical confinement, five emergency room trips and three near-death experiences. It’s a miracle my family was able to pay for all our medical bills. I once asked them about it when I was old enough to understand and they just smiled at me. They said not to bother about it and just be happy that I am okay right now. I did a little research and found out that I was born a weak baby, hence the numerous hospital visits. My parents did all they could so as to make me as healthy I can be. When I stepped on to highschool, I was as well as any other kid but the residual fear and worry was there. The only requirement my physician had was to have an annual physical exam so as to periodically evaluate my health.
So here I was on our family doctor’s office in a private practice building somewhere in Alabang. Since I was old enough to go (I’m 17 for crying out loud), I went all by myself. My parents trusted me enough to not go malling or something, which I was somehow known for.
All my tests were done and I was sitting at Dr. Sylva’s office waiting for her to come back. It was taking quite a long time and I was worried.
Finally, Dr. Sylva, or Mitra as I was fond of calling her, entered. “Ah, Jess Mago. It's nice to see you again.” The skin around her eyes tightened and her smile was half-meant. I knew something was different this time and I’m afraid to know what.
“Mitra.” I hugged her, releasing my frustrations while in her arms.
For the 17 years she had taken care of me ever since I was born, she was the only one who handled my medical file. She knows everything about me, from my physical traits down to my health problems. She watched me grew up from that four pound baby into a 185 lbs. teenager. She’s like a second mother, a godmother perhaps. But my parents loathed her.
She stepped back and took a seat. I followed. She handed me the results and I browsed through it. I was already used to these papers and I have almost full understanding of what it says.
I browsed through it.
Test 1: SAME.
Test 2: SAME:
Test 3: DECREASING.
Test 4: DECREASING.
Test 5: SAME.
Test 6: DECREASING.
Test 7: ....
“No.” I muttered as the papers fell off my hand. Mitra could only look at me with pity and sadness in her eyes.
---
I am a notorious white liar. I lie to almost everything, no matter how little or big it is. I guess its wrong to say things that are either untrue or severely exaggerated but as long no one gets hurt except me, it was okay. That was my philosophy.
TO BE CONTINUED...
NEXT CHAPTER: The Calm Before The Storm
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