Wishful Thinking [C01]

CHAPTER 1: Just Another Ordinary Heartbreak

It was almost everyday I’d get my heart broken. 

Seeing them together, her arms around his back, his along her waist. The way she would smile as he gives her a look of adoration. The slight shift of his stance and the way she adapts to it seemingly as if they are one. It was a subtle yet obvious sign of ownership, a code of arms that binds them both in that so-called love. How annoyingly asinine. 

“Hey, stop it already. There’s no need to rub it off, you know.” I said, looking jokingly at them as if I was disgusted (which I really was).

“Awe. Someone’s getting jealous.” Kai said as he teasingly answered me in that sickly puppy-dog sort of way. 

I felt a flicker of embarrassment which momentarily disappeared. I hoped they didn’t noticed it.

“Don’t worry, Jess, we’ll find you someone.” Karina pacified, pointing a disapproving stare to her boyfriend, and to me with little shame in her deep brown eyes.

I took a deep breath and said “Right... like I haven’t heard that before,” resignation seeping from my voice.

“Oh suck it up. Its not our fault that you don’t seem to like any girl we’d point to you.” Kai pointed out. 

“That’s because he’s a gentleman Kai. He’s not like you who’d snatch any girl who offers herself to you. I mean, if I haven’t tamed you, you’d probably be switching between girls faster than superman fighting off crimes.” Karina fiercely interjected, all the while looking at me knowingly.

“Uhmm... thanks Kar, I think. Anyways, I have to go. My class starts in five minutes and I still need to walk like a mile to get to the building.” I lightly laughed as I picked up my bag, grabbed my lunch leftovers and stood up to get going. I was getting uncomfortable at the direction the conversation was going. Luckily, Kar saved me from the rest of it.

“Sure sure Jess. Meet up later after class at the main campus office, okay?” Kar worriedly asked as he and Kai started to gather their things as well. Kai was just looking alternately between me and Kar with that confused knot in his eyes.

“Okay. See you guys later.” As I turned to go, I caught a glimpse of them looking at me, Kar with a somber look on her face and Kai with a deep-in-thought gaze. Then the looks were quickly masked and they turned to each other, giving each other a peck on the lips. For me, it was more like French. 

I couldn’t help but feel scared and with a burst of intuition, I suddenly had this feeling that something either majorly good or bad will happen later the day. 

Looking back, they were walking the opposite way holding hands. With all things said and considered, I couldn’t help but feel alone.

---

Advanced Systems Design. My final class for the day. Oh, how I hated my course. Its already a year and a half and I’m still having second thoughts about taking Computer Science. I mean, I was dubbed the smartest person in our block (really, I was!) and I gladly accepted the recognition ( I didn't say I was that modest), but this was just too much. Our professor’s voice was like a lullaby pulling me to the depths of oblivion. The university should have training for professors in "How To Not Be Bring 101" to avoid becoming energy-sucking lifeless teaching drones. 

I wasn’t listening though. I was thinking of the first day I had stepped into the campus. It was the first day of classes. It was also the first time I met Kai and Karina.

<flashback>

I was lucky enough to get a scholarship into one of the most famous and most prestigious universities in the Philippines. I belonged to a lower middle class family (gosh, need I define it?) and being a student here is somewhat a far-fetched dream of mine. But here I was, wearing my worn-out clothes, amidst the so-called ‘high-class’ student body. I was scared yet exhilarated at the same time.

After walking around and exploring the campus, I went to find my room. Insanely enough, it was located at the other side of the five hectare campus so it took me around 15 minutes just to get there ( I got lost and had to ask directions from someone as well). At least I got some exercise.

The room was beyond my comprehension. It was air conditioned and equipped with high-tech gizmos that I don’t recognize or didn’t know of. Located at the center of the ceiling were wi-fi enabled LCD projectors that seemingly connects to the built-in computer at the right side of the room. There was also an OHP atthe far left, near two large aircon units. I was confounded and I felt inadequate.

I randomly took a seat in the middle of the class. There were only a few people, mostly quiet and alone as well. Guess everyone’s experiencing first day fright as well. At least, I’m not the only one feeling it.

After a few minutes, the room started filling up. When it seemed as if it was time, a guy (a foreigner, I take it) walked in, followed by who I assumed was our professor (because she was the only one carrying a laptop, a stack of brown paper, and some cables hanging out), and sat beside me. I barely acknowledged him.

So the class started and since it was our first day, the prof droned on about the university; the different places around, the rules and regulations, special information and other school trivia. She also welcomed us to being part of the university. After which, she started explaining what to expect about our course and about her subject. It took the whole period, roughly an hour and a half, to finish everything. By then, I had learned and absorbed a lot so my mind was fully loaded and ready to explode.

While readying to get out of the room to get to our block’s next class (I learned that as first year, we get to stay in a section or block until we can enroll on our own during the latter part of the year), the guy who sat beside me turned to me, grinned and held out his hand for a handshake.

“Hi, I’m Kai. Nice to meet you.” He drawled out in that full American accent of him.

I was dumbfounded. I didn’t react for a few moments. Such a straightforward approach, something I'm not used to. When his grin started to falter, I quickly composed myself and took his hand. 

“Hello. I’m J-Jess. Nice to meet you too.” I answered in perfect English. Our family maybe dirt poor compared to the rest of the student body but I grew up learning as much as I can. English was just some of the language I can speak (guess how many languages I know!). 

He unexpectedly pulled me into a one arm back-patting hug, an American gesture I later found out, and right there and then, we became friends.

<end of flashback>

I smiled foolishly as I remembered that day. I still can’t believe that he was my friend. We were on either end of the spectrum but we managed to break the barriers and become close friends, almost brotherly.

Kaiser Philippe Montag, or Kai as we call him, is, and always will be, a full-fledge American boy-next-door playboy. He’s the epitome of perfection. (And god, I hate him for that.) He was from the US of A and had lived all his life there. But his father’s relationship with a Filipino woman led to his family (Kai, his father and his older brother) moving to little old Philippines. Turns out, he decided to go to college here instead of being left out alone in the States.

His father was the CEO of an IT company based in America and the sudden move, although risky, brought new opportunities for the company as they open their first branch here in Manila. This was one of the reason he decided to take up ComSci; to follow his father's footsteps. His older brother was an engineer and is also currently on the final processes of establishing his own firm. 

Simply put, Kai is loaded. Seriously loaded. Not to mention that everyone vies for his attention, guys or girls, to the point of being pathetic just to win his friendship. Everybody likes him, wants to be him, and wants to be with him. I hated him back then, and until now. Just kidding, he’s my bestest friend <insert sarcasm here>. Either way, I was thankful to be his friend. Really I am.

I broke out of my reverie when the recorded bell tune rang. My last period for the day is done. Finally. As I walked out, I bade goodbye to some of my blockmates who I can actually say I like and tolerate. Then I made my way to the main campus office.

---

While making my way to the office, I saw Karina a few steps in front of me. Kai was a student assistant. Aside from being utterly handsome and rich (gosh, can he be any more perfect?), he was also insanely smart (yup, he can be 'perfecter'), perhaps smarter than me. And because of that, he also managed to grab on to a scholarship and become a student research assistant handpicked by the campus director himself.

I quickened my pace and, in a few seconds, was directly behind her. Kar didn’t seem to notice me, so I surprised her by hugging her from the back. 

“HEY WHAAA----“ She flailed but after realizing it was me, laughed and gushed loudly.

“OMG Jess. You jerk. You scared the hell out of me. I thought I was being molested or something.” She relaxed in my arms but I didn’t make a move to remove them from around her.

“Hahaha... Kar, no one would dare to do that. Not unless they want to be hospitalized for an eternity.” I smirked. hugging her a little too tight. Then, with my arms around her, we walked slowly, dragging ourselves towards the main campus building. As we stopped by an alcove just in front of the office door, I tried to think the first time Kai and I met her.

<flashback>

After the third period class of our very first day, Kai and I went to check out the cafeteria around campus (amazingly, there were a total of 10 of them scattered around campus). It was lunch time and I was hungry, and it looks as if Kai was too.

Along the way, we talked about ourselves. You know, the basic get-to-know questions. People were gawking over him. The university, having a good percentage of foreign students (Americans, Europeans, Africans, Australians, fellow Asians), was well known for having a diverse collection of students. And yet, it seems as if they were seeing Kai as having a race of his own.

We found our way towards Food Fantasy, one of the university\s numerous café houses which caters a wide range of light snacks, blended drinks and wholesome desserts. When we got in, we found a vacant table by the side. Then Kai abruptly turned to me.

“JJ, I’ll treat you.” He said and walked towards the counter. I was shocked, angered and humiliated all at the same time. I mean, here was a person I just met, someone who I don't even feel that close yet, and he does something totally arrogant and unexpected like this. Not that I care (at least free lunch) but a guy has his pride, you know?

It was a good thing there weren’t anyone near us and the only person who could’ve witnessed the scene was a rather beautiful girl with long black hair sitting two tables to my right. 

I looked at her and noticed that she was looking at me. She smiled then I did. 

“Hi.” I said, blushing crimson knowing that she just witnessed what happened.

“Hi. Cute boyfriend you’ve got there.” Pointing his lips towards Kai.

I paled as the words left her mouth. I couldn’t talk back. What did she say?

The fear and hesitation must’ve showed in my face when she hastily added, “Oh sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. Don’t worry, it’s not a problem for me. Surprisingly, our university supports -”

I still can’t reply back, not understanding what she was saying. I darted my eyes towards Kai. He was already paying for the food. The girl at the counter was shamelessly flirting at him.

“- and it's not as if someone will try to hurt you. By the way, he’s really hot. What a catch.” I heard the girl say. She followed my gaze and saw that I was looking at Kai. Then I realized what she meant.

When I got my voice back, I said, “No no no no. You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not gay.” I was quick to deny.

“Oh. Damn. Uhm, sorry. Gosh I feel stupid. Its just that I assumed. I mean, it looks as if he was... It was really sweet and... You guys look so cute togeth-” She was blushing deep red and gushed with her words.

“Its okay. Its okay.” I said to calm her. Wow, talk about miscommunication. She blushed immensely and I tried hard not to chuckle.

When she calmed down, she said, “I don’t usually do that. I mean when I saw you guys I immediately assumed that you were, you know, together. Of course! Silly me! It's just the first day of classes so you two couldn’t have possibly known each other for that long. Or are you guys like childhood friends?” She was pacifying herself.

I was about to answer when Kai suddenly popped out of nowhere and stood beside me. I jumped as I didn't notice him approach.

“So who’s the pretty lady you’re talking to?” He asked me, while surreptitiously trying to sneak a look at the girl a few seats from us.

“Oh yeah... Wait. I don’t know your name. Um. I’m Jess and this is Kai.” I offered my hand.

She gladly took it and answered, “Nice to meet you. I’m Karina.” She winked at me and I blushed. Kai looked at me and just grinned.

I forgot I was mad at Kai.

<end of flashback>

Kar’s voice returned me from my trip down memory lane.

“You’re lucky you’re a good friend. Kai would’ve been royally pissed if it were some other guy.” It was normal for us to be close and physical like this. Aside from Kai, Kar was my other best friend (at least that’s how we see it). It's funny when people would usually confuse us as a couple. Others would tease us about Kai being jealous but we just laughed about that, seeing as how close all three of us were.

“Oh please. I could beat Kai any other day.” I huffed my chest acting tough and proud. 

“Yeah right. He’s just got a soft spot for you.” She laughed as we stopped just a few feet away from the doors of the main campus office.

Everyone knows that when it comes to fighting, Kai never backs down. He was a master of almost all martial arts forms (muay thai, karate, aikido, judo, kung fu, jujitsu, kendo, wushu, krav maga, capoeira, eskrima... the list goes on). He’s got the body of a powerful man, mad skills enough to almost kill anyone and the resources to descend hell upon someone. I’m just glad I will never get to his bad side (or that’s what I at least thought so). 

“Yup. And I got him wrapped around my fingers.” I jokingly added. 

I didn’t notice someone exiting the office and creep behind me. I was smiling when that person whispered into my ear, “Is that so JJ? Well, let’s see who’s gonna be wrapped around something when I’m through with you.”

My smile vanished and I tensed up. I immediately backed away from the guy but he caught me in the waist. Dear god, I’m dead.

“HAHAHAHA. That was too damn funny.” Kar, who was in front of me (obviously had seen what was coming) and watching my reactions the whole time, suddenly burst out laughing.

I knew it was Kai. I could smell his faint cologne. And if the voice didn’t give it away, the sturdy bulging arms wrapped around me did. I gulped. I’m seriously dead.

“K-Kai. Didn’t n-notice you there d-dude.” I stammered, knowing full well what’s coming next.

“Apparently. Now what was that you said again?” His arms tightened around me, almost leaving me breathless but not quite. His voice was serious, deep but with a trace of sick humor and delight.

“Oh. Nothing. I didn’t say anything. K-Kar, would you please stop laughing and get your neanderthal of a boyfriend off of me.” I looked at her with pleading eyes.

“But JJ, we all know what you really want.” He smiled at me angelically. Crap.

“Kai, please get your arms off of me. I can’t breathe.” I was in full pleading mode. This is so not good. I was starting to feel something inside and it scared me. 

Kar seemed to noticed it and stepped in. “Come on Kai, let Jess go. Besides I want to be the one in your arms."

“But JJ haven’t answered my question yet. So what was that again JJ? Who do you have wrapped in your finger?” Kai tightened his grip on me and I started to feel dizzy. I knew what was coming and I was panicking.

“It was no one man. I was just kidding.” I was starting to hyperventilate and was literally shaking. I can’t seem to breathe right. I was losing focus and the next thing I know, everything turned black.

---

“Jess, you okay?” Kar’s voice was soothing to my ears. It was caring, sincere and full of concern. I remembered my mom. 

“W-where am I?” I squinted my eyes, noticed that I was laying down and tried standing up.

“Don’t move. You might faint again. Just relax first.” Kar held me back and settled me back in.

“What happened?” I ask with a little confusion. My mind’s not fully functioning yet.

“You fainted.” Kai, who was standing just behind Kar out of my sight, appeared in my line of vision and answered me.

“Oh. Wha-“ I was gonna asked why but then I remembered. Oh shit. 

“Do you remember now?” Kar asked worriedly. She noticed that I seemed to be getting my bearings back.

“Y-yeah.” I didn’t know what to say. So I looked around and saw that we were in one of the rooms in the university clinic. Kar was sitting on a chair right beside my bed near my head and Kai was behind her.

“Are you feeling better now?” Kai asked me, getting my attention quickly.

“I feel fine. Just a little woozy.” I managed to squeeze in a chuckle.

Then suddenly, Kai spoke loudly,” What happened dude? You scared the hell out of us.” His voice was angry yet there was something there that I can’t seem to identify.

“Kai relax.” Kar firmly stated.

“But Kar, he freaking fainted on my arms. I didn’t know what could’ve happened. It might’ve been my fault.” His voice withered by the end of the sentence. 

Seeing that Kai was actually blaming himself for my fainting, I quickly answered, “No no no, It wasn’t your fault. I’m just tired or something.”

Kai looked at me than started to open his mouth but quickly shut it again. He scrutinized me for a minute then abruptly stood up.

“Kar, come with me. Let’s go ask the clinic doctor if we can get JJ out already.” He grabbed her by the arm and they immediately exited the room.

I was left there alone. Again. I was puzzled by Kai’s reaction. Then I realized that seeing me like that which could’ve either been his fault or not, he just needs to let out some air.

After laying down the bed for what’ve been like around 30 minutes, Kar came back in and told me to stand up. 

“Kai’s already starting his car. The doctor said we could bring you home now. But you need to have someone with you for quite a while so we decided to just hang out at Kai’s house. You can take your rest there. And since its Friday tomorrow, you could just sleep over at Kai’s house.” Kar was acting all serious and mom-like that I just had to tease her.

“Yes mom. I’ll do as you say. Dad’s waiting so let’s go.” Then I laughed seeing her flustered face.

“Well, I know you’re back to normal then.” She playfully smacked me at the back of my head as we walked out.

Before reaching Kai's car, which was parked in a rental parking space a few blocks away from campus, Kar pulled me into a tight hug.

Then she whispered, “He knows.”

TO BE CONTINUED...

A/N: So that’s the first part of my story. Interpret it as you wish. It is not yet done though obviously. It’s just the start of it. There’s gonna be more to go. Please tell me what you think of it by commenting below. This is really different and I find it quite weird yet exciting writing something like it. Hope you get my drift.

NEXT CHAPTER : White Lies, Priorities, and Acceptance